Updated: May 21
Love, joy, and peace are the rewards of listening and following your heart's desire. So why do some many of us resist our heart's calling?
Confession Alert! (and it's a bit lengthy)
I have not written a blog in over a month and there is a reason. I want to be transparent and authentic with you, so this will be a lengthy confession.
I was not inspired to write and share anything. I dropped down into some dark times, where I lost perspective and most of all I lost the ability to see my value.
It all began when I reflected on the state of my business, specifically coaching.
I remember when I first worked with a client 1:1 on a personal level, it felt to me like a meditation. Time passed so quickly, and when it was over I felt more peace than I had in years.
At the time I had no idea why this happened. Now I can see clearly that I was completely present and working with my intuitive sense, so my mind was quite.
What's the problem with that (you may be wondering)?
Simply put, I could not define my value in the absence of my intellectual mind.
Since I could not see the value in working with intuition, I decided to stop working with clients on a personal level and focus on business consulting. I know the value of my intellect, and I feel safe and confident using my intellect.
However, this safety is happening on the level of the mind...and my heart is not aligned.
Two years ago, I heard my heart's calling to work 1:1 with clients again and I focused more time on coaching, business coaching that is.
Clients come to me with the intent to start or grow their business. We start with a focus on their human doing (their business) and somehow most of my clients shift the focus to their human being (relationships, emotions, thought patterns to name a few).
The feedback I get most often from clients is that their lives have been forever changed and they just don't have the words to explain what happened or what I actually did with them. Well, this is the problem...the source of what brought me into some dark times recently.
I began to see this pattern with my coaching clients and I analyzed it with my left brain and I concluded that I have no value as a coach. My logical mind was looking for concrete business results and feedback that could be quantified and compared. When my clients focused their feedback on their human being, I could not see the value.
I heard the voices of my colleagues that I used to work with in corporate that are type A, intellectual and high achiever personalities. In my head they were saying "Come on Sandra, you know better, you need to quantify results, this line of business is just not for you, you have no value here...and so on."
I started to question everything. I mean everything. I contemplated stopping 1:1 coaching and once again going back to solely working with my intellect in quantifiable business opportunities.
This time I didn't fall back to the safety of my logical mind (at least not yet) because I clearly heard my heart's desire. The desire to be present for another human being without judgement and with the ability to intuitively listen and help guide them to their heart's desires. The details of what this looks like in my business going forward is yet to be worked out.
Now I am finding peace in the phrase "I know what I need to know, and what I don't know I don't need to know".
Ok...so that concludes the confession part of this blog. (I warned you it was lengthy)
So why do some many of us resist our heart's calling?
In my humble opinion...because it is freaking hard.
It takes courage to flow with life rather than control everything. We have been conditioned to value our intellect, to value the human doing. As a society we do not teach the value of human being, we don't role model it for our children and we don't honour it.
Before you can muster the courage to follow your heart's desire, you will need to listen to the calling first.
How to Listen to Your Heart's Desire
1. Accept the noise
When what you are doing or who you are being is not aligned to your heart's desire, the noise level in your mind chatter is sure to be tuned up high. If you try to fight the noise by engaging with it, (meaning talking to yourself inside your head) you will add fuel to the fire. It is best to allow the noise, accept that it is present.
2. Listen thru the pain
If you are experiencing pain, there is usually a message for you amidst the pain. Most often pain is a manifestation of not seeing your true nature. You are powerful beyond measure and valuable for just being. When you loose sight of this basic birthright, you most often experience pain.
3. Add a little silence
Understandably it is not easy to silence the mind when it is running on hyper speed. I find that short meditations work best to offer at least a few seconds of silence. The Muse is a mediation device that I have found helpful as well. It is best to start with small goals of a few seconds to a few minutes of silence at a time.
4. Trust that you know what you need to know
You may want all the answers, you may want them now... but sometimes you simply have to find the peace in not knowing. This is an exercise in patience and trust. You will need to trust in a higher power (the universe, God, infinite intelligence), whatever works for you. If you try to trust yourself it is a harder road and not as powerful.
Once you can clearly hear the heart's desire, you have two choices. You can stay in the discomfort of not following your heart or you can take a leap of faith and choose the discomfort of following your heart. Yes, either way you are not going to be comfortable (at least not right away). When you follow your heart the discomfort will lead to the feelings of freedom, peace, love and joy...seems worth it to me. Now all you have to do is find the courage to follow your heart.
1. Accept failure is an option
Yes, you may fail when you follow your heart's desire. Failure is going to be whatever you define it to be. You may pour your heart, soul, sweat, and tears into every action that you take and you may still fall short of your goals. Know that it’s NORMAL. Accepting failure is part of the journey. It will force you to redefine the meaning of failure and it will teach you to let go of control and flow with life.
2. Be transparent
The truth shall set you free. Oh how true this is. The more you are secretive about your real desires, the more you hide what you are doing from others, the more you are playing into the fear of failing publicly. As long as the fear owns you, you will not feel the freedom of following your heart's desire. Even if you pick just a few people that you can trust to be totally transparent with, do so, it will make all the difference.
3. Trust you are guided
If you hear your heart's calling and you are taking action to follow thru, you are guided. It is a universal truth. So few people are tuned in and able to listen to their heart and even fewer have the courage to start the journey. Trust that this didn't happen by accident. Trust that the universe has your back. Everything that is happening now and will happen thought the journey is for you.
4. Take one step at a time
It may seem like the journey to follow your heart's desire is a slow crawl with a whole bunch of set back. It does not have to be this way, and it often is this way. As long as you keep growing your faith and trust in a higher power, you will continue to listen to the calling. You will know you are guided and you will take one inspired action after another.
How do you listen to your heart's desire? Share your insights in the comment section below.
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Wishing you love, joy and peace,