Updated: May 21, 2020
If you are human, you have emotions. Stop pretending like you don't. Start playing the human card.
Emotional health is a real thing. If you are still trying to pretend like you are above it and you don't succumb to human emotions like frustration, overwhelm, fear, guilt and sadness - then please do yourself a huge favour and STOP IT.
Allow yourself to be human, to grow and evolve and reach your highest potential. Allow yourself to feel the emotion without the judgement.
As a society we are very accepting of emotions like happiness, excitement, joy and amusement.
How many times have you heard someone being praised for being a happy person, for being excited and being cool under pressure. I'm guessing at least a few.
Now, think really hard...how many times have your heard anyone being praised for expressing fear and declaring overwhelm?
I can't think of any, can you? If you have please share.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not advocating for a public pity party. I am simply saying we have declared some very strong judgments on emotions. Some are good and some are bad. Really, is this true?
I invite you to keep an open mind and take a different look at emotions.
Have you ever judged your left hand for being left and your right hand for being right? NO. You have two hands, they each serve a purpose.
So let's take this analogy and examine joy and guilt without calling one good and one bad.
Joy feels light in the body, it gives you guidance that whatever you are thinking or doing is of value to you. Guilt feels heavy in the body, it gives you guidance that whatever you are thinking or doing is out of alignment with your values.
So now is joy good and guilt bad?
I guess you can say yes, if you don't want the data to guide you. If you want to go thru life with blindfolds on, plugging your ears and never getting any feedback that will enable you to grow and reach your full potential.
"Emotions do not dictate, they indicate"
Emotions contain valuable data. Data that will help you make better decisions. Data that will allow you to feel more of the lighter emotions like joy more of the time. But there is a catch! You have to allow the emotions to be present without judgment.
Now, let's dig in here...this does not mean you give yourself a private pity party that lasts days and even months. Nor does it mean that you have to make decisions based on how you feel at the moment. NO. NO. NO. This one I feel very strongly about, because I misunderstood this message when I first heard it.
Let me use an example. Let's say you have a family and you have a business and you rank quality family time high on your values list.
Now for the scenario: You are working late on Sunday night to meet a deadline on Monday. The feeling of guilt starts to come over you.
You have a choice - you can push it aside, ignore it and refuse to give it any air time or you can feel it and listen for the data or the message in the emotion.
If you choose to ignore the emotion and move on with your work...chances are this scene will repeat itself many times before you pay attention and most likely the guilt will start to impact other areas of your life like your health, your relationships and even your business.
If you choose to listen for the data, you will likely start to get the message that you would rather be spending time with your family. You will access your values and know that you are not currently aligned to your values. Now, what do you do?
As soon as you allow the emotion to be present without judgement you will also have clarity. In this scenario there is no right decision. There is only a decision that is right for you. The awareness is the gift.
You could choose to keep working because you are aware that if you miss your deadline you will also experience other heavy emotions since integrity is of high value to you as well and you gave your word to meet the deadline.
You could choose to take a break, spend some quality time with the family and still meet your deadline.
You could choose to miss your deadline and spend the time with your family because that feels like the most aligned action at that moment.
All of these options are available to you, once you allow the emotion to give you the data. Now, in this scenario, the data is valuable for future decisions as well.
Even, if you decided to keep working, you can choose to keep future Sunday's free for family time because you now see that being in alignment to your values is what will bring on the lighter emotions.
When we push aside the heavier more difficult emotions we are not learning from them, and we are not growing. In fact, we start to make decisions that are not in out best interest. In order to avoid the unwanted emotions, we stop asking, requesting and desiring what we really want.
Play the human card, it's yours to play.
You are allowed to feel all your emotions, it's your birthright. Feel emotions without judgment to get the data that will help you make decisions in your own best interest.
Have you allowed your emotions to be present without judgment? What happened? Share your insights in the comment section below.
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Wishing you love, joy and peace,