You Gotta Feel it to Heal it: Why You Need to Expose the Shame.

It's not life's problems that will get you down, it's the shame you are hiding that will shatter your self esteem.

Life is like a mediation. Every day you have something(s) you are focused on and your mind wanders constantly taking you out of focus, into the future and the past. Each time you eventually bring yourself back to the present so you can function in the world.

There will be problems, and hurtles to overcome. Some bigger than others, but each time the strategy is the same. Just get over the hurtle in front of you and move on.

You only get stuck when you judge your experience. Just like the art of mediation is not about having no thoughts, it's about accepting that you have thoughts and allowing them to be present without fighting with them.

Life is about allowing the hurtles, the problems to be present and not fighting with them. I know that sounds overly simplistic. Specially if you find yourself in a living hell right now. If you are going thru a difficult hurtle right now, it may seem impossible to accept it in the moment. You may even want to give up.

Don't give up, give in.

Allow the storm to pass. Feel it, be present for the pain. It will pass, it always does. Just like every day the sun sets and everyday the sun rises. Your problems too shall pass. This problem as big as it may seem too shall pass.

If you want it to pass faster, allow it to live for now. Give it the room it needs to exist right now. As humans we go thru great lengths not to feel pain, especially if it's emotional pain.

The irony is that only when you feel it, will it freely leave you.

I speak from experience. Way too much experience (as my mind judges in real time). I have weathered many emotional storms. For a long time I tried as hard as I could to fight off the storm. I did not want to appear weak, I never wanted to have anyone see me cry or emotional.

I judged my pain and I was ashamed of it. Shame is a bottom feeder emotion, and if you allow it to feed it will eat away at the essence of who you really are.

Maybe not right away, but in time (maybe years, maybe decades), it will strip you of your self esteem, of your worthiness. It will fool you into thinking you are not enough.

The only way to stop shame is to expose it in the light of day. Speak it out loud...or maybe just as a whisper at first. Choose someone you trust and share your shame, once it is exposed it will never have the same power ever again.

You will gain your inner strength back..it was always in you. It's just that shame buried it too far out of your sight so you could not see it.

As soon as you expose shame , you will see your magnificence. You will be overcome with joy, a joy beyond what you have ever experienced. A feeling of bliss that will register a new high on your emotional scale.

Why is it difficult to expose shame? Share your insights in the comment section below.

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Wishing you love, joy and peace,

Sandra Francisco